Poverty Tech is a cutting-edge infrastructure provider specializing in turning retired office computers, suspiciously cheap SSDs, and leftover Ethernet cables into mission-critical systems nobody asked for.

Service Tiers:

FREE
1 vCPU
512 MB RAM
Shared IP
Occasional electricity

PRO
2 vCPU
2 GB RAM
Backups when remembered
Priority rebooting

ENTERPRISE
4 vCPU
8 GB RAM
A UPS from Marketplace
Someone actually reads the logs